Recently, a good friend of mine has been struggling with knowing what she wants to do with her life. This morning after reading her blog, I thought I would share my own story.
Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to be a teacher. That was what I always played with my sister growing up, that was my first job (part time) and continues to be my full time job. Growing up, I was the girl who never had any doubts about her career path. I had it all planned: finish school, go straight into a teaching degree, finish my degree and get a job in a good school. But even the most certain of people have doubts. Whether they choose to acknowledge them or not is a different story.
Throughout high school I never questioned being a teacher. By 14 I was a music teacher, both privately and at the music school I ended up managing throughout my uni degree. Though looking back, I didn't ever allow myself to doubt my decisions in high school. I insisted on being a PE teacher, and thought I'd just tack English onto the side because I had to have a second teaching area. It's quite ironic that I currently teach only English and absolutely love it! As I progressed through my degree I distinctly remember weeks where I wondered what the hell I was doing. Did I really want to be a teacher? Was I really patient enough to put up with teenagers? Was I teaching the right subjects? Then there were pracs where I felt so out of my depth that I thought there was no way I was meant to be a teacher. Even now, as a qualified and working teacher, I have weeks where I feel like I'm not the right person to be a teacher. Lucky for me, I have a very supportive husband, best friend, and family, who all remind me I'm being ridiculous. Whilst that's amazing, sometimes you just need to realise things for yourself. I needed to know it for myself. Each time I doubted what I was doing something amazing happened within my teaching. Recently, I had a year 9 student give their first ever speech! They had always been too afraid, but this time, they felt like they could not only give the speech in front of me, but the entire class! It's those moments that remind me why I want to teach, and how much I love it.
Anyone can get through a teaching degree, but not everyone is made to be a teacher. Like a lot of other jobs, you see and hear about a number of awful life situations. You see teenagers doing things they shouldn't even know exist. You're daily dealing with problems, teaching them how to respect themselves (as well as others) and helping them survive a world that is not easy. It takes a lot of passion, to care about so many people that much! At times it's overwhelming because you don't feel like you can help students enough. It is a job that you have to take home, and it's not just the marking or planning. But for me, this is what makes it perfect, because the flip side of it is seeing students achieve, seeing them with confidence, listening to their funny stories. I love that I get to come home and tell my husband about all the funny, crappy, weird and amazing things my students do. I love that my days are trying to help people, not students, just people who need help whether they realise it or not. I love that I get to spend my days figuring out how these people tick.
Although my friend realised teaching wasn't for her, don't think that's the right choice for everyone just because of a little doubt. She didn't just decide over night, it wasn't a decision made lightly. Every teacher will tell you they doubt their career choice at some point or another. Sometimes you just need time to think about it properly, or take some time away from it. For me, I will always be a teacher deep down. Choosing to pursue that is what I have to decide, but I know that when I need to make that decision, I will know.
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